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I Was K!lling Myself’ – Naomi Campbell Speaks About Her Abuse Of Drugs And Alcohol To Cover Up Childhood Trauma And Grief

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Naomi Campbell, a former supermodel, has come out about her early drug and alcohol addiction.

The fashion icon, 53, alleges in the new documentary The Super Models that she began misusing substances as a way to cope with the pain of being abandoned by her father as a child, as well as the tragic murder of her close friend and designer Gianni Versace.

The runway legend discusses her career journey in the Apple TV+ documentary along with famous supermodels Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington.

Because of the quantity of drugs she used in the early 1990s, Naomi acknowledged that at the height of her success, she was gradually “killing” herself.

The mother-of-two said, “Grief has been a very peculiar thing in my life because it doesn’t always [appear].

”I go into a shock and freak out when it actually happens, and then later is when I break. But I kept the sadness inside, I just dealt with it.”

The fashion industry was startled when famed designer Giovanni Maria ‘Gianni’ Versace was shot dead outside his Miami Beach house in 1997.

Naomi had developed a close friendship with the Italian fashion icon and was one of many people who were affected by his passing.

Naomi stated why he had such a particular place in her heart: ‘[Late designer] Azzedine Alaa was my papa. I learned about selected families from him. Gianni Versace is in the same boat.

I Was K!lling Myself’ – Naomi Campbell Speaks About Her Abuse Of Drugs And Alcohol To Cover Up Childhood Trauma And Grief

”He was very sensitive to feeling me, like, he pushed me. How would push me to step outside and go further when I didn’t think I had it within myself to do it. So, when he died, my grief became very bad.’

She continued: ‘When I started using, that was one of the things I tried to cover up, was grief. Addiction is such a… it’s just a bulls**t thing, it really is.

”You think, “Oh it’s gonna heal that wound”. It doesn’t. It can cause such huge fear and anxiety. So I got really angry.”

Famously, the British-born model, who had been addicted to cocaine for five years, passed out during a 1999 picture shoot. She entered rehab in 1999 as a result of the frightening incident.

‘When you try to cover something up, your feelings… You spoke about abandonment. I tried to cover that with something. You can’t cover it. I was killing myself. It was very hurtful.’ she said

She also mentioned her previous assault convictions, the first of which occurred in February 2000, when she pleaded guilty in Toronto to attacking her personal assistant with a mobile phone in September 1998. In 2006, several other employees and associates came out with allegations of mistreatment.

”For my mistakes, I’ve always owned up to them. I chose to go to rehab”, Naomi stated

‘It was one of the best and only things I could have done for myself at that time. It is scary to pick up the mirror and look into the mirror. It is scary, and it’s taken me many years to work on and deal with.” she added

Valerie Morris, a dancer from Jamaica, gave birth to Naomi, who has never known her father, who left his mother while she was pregnant.

‘There’s a lot of issues that I have from childhood. Well, for instance, not knowing your father, not seeing your mother. That brings up a lot of … it manifests a lot of feelings.’’ she said

‘One of those feelings… absolutely is anger. But I think that’s a really normal thing. I’ve not always displayed my anger at the appropriate time. It’s always been an inappropriate time. But it’s a manifestation of a deeper issue, anger.’

‘And that, for me, I think is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness, and being abandonment. That’s where my core issues were abandonment and rejection.

‘That puts me in a real vulnerable space, and everyone thinks, “Oh, Naomi’s a really tough girl and really strong”. But that’s what I want to appear to people to be like, because if I fear that I don’t, they’re gonna just walk all over me if they really knew.’ she added

Source: Vimbuzz.com

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